Originally when I made the pivot from K-12 teaching to higher education, I imagined that my research agenda would be related to language and literacy development. I could see the beauty of choosing a focus and then drilling deeply year after year.

And then, reality hit.

As a wife, mom, and teacher educator working at a teaching (rather than research) university, I always had way more ideas than what I could actually implement. It was quickly clear that my work needed to be streamlined in order to be sustainable. Time and again I ran up against the reality that my ideas for research beyond my immediate university teaching context were not feasible.

The spark was there, the energy to implement and sustain was not.

Running up against my human limitations resulted in a sense of grieving the loss of how I envisioned my career would unfold.

I attended conferences and ached for a sense of unifying purpose spanning across decades leading to unique contributions to the field. I was drawn to the devotion and dedication, yet feeling like I missed the boat. My life just wasn't compatible.

Then I realized, there was a thread woven across the decades that I had failed to see as having capacity to be my unique contribution to the field - my love of learning coupled with my reflecting nature that then fuels on-going review and revision of my instruction.

Seemingly disconnected experiences began to come together to form a bigger picture vision. Though often frustrated by the projects I was not able to implement or the agonizing pace of progress on those I was able to invest in, something has been slowly building.

With greater clarity on the significance and the value of the on-going process of teaching like a learner, I can't wait to share glimpses into what I have learned.

Questions for Reflection:

• What are your goals and dreams as an educator?

• What other roles do you have in addition to being an educator? How have those roles impacted your professional growth (both opportunities and challenges)?

• How does what you have learned based on your unique context have implications for how you can better support your colleagues and students?