Motherhood and Career

My career has always been intertwined with motherhood. My first year teaching, I had a 2 year old and my second daughter was born the day after my students' graduation. Looking ahead, I will be 62 and nearing retirement when my youngest graduates from college if she follows a traditional 4 years directly after high school pathway.

The trajectory of my career has been shaped by the ages and stages of my 6 girls. Along the way, I have needed to reel in my career passions, quiet the drive to compete, and lighten the burden of over-responsibility.

About 10 years ago, I recognized that presence and joy are barometers. In that season, I began to ask: Am I able to serve with joy at home and at the university based on my current workload? When I am at home, am I able to be present to my kids or am I snapping at them, letting them know I just really need to get something done? When I receive an email from a student, am I able to be attentive and intentional in my response, or is having one more thing on my over-filled to-do list stress-inducing, resulting in a rushed response?

I have learned to streamline at work in order to focus on the quality of my primary responsibilities and what I am saying yes to. As I stripped away different roles, opportunities, and duties - grieving the loss of those layers, the phrase that came up in that season of life was "simplify in order to see the sweetness contained within." Though the loss of what I was letting go of still stung, I began to experience the beauty of going deeper with fewer things.

There are some career possibilities that I place in the not yet category. There are others that I have come to realize aren't compatible with my family's needs and might not ever be in time before retirement. Along the way, the process of making choices and coming to grips with those choices has required an inquiry into what I loved about my profession at its core. The process of crafting instruction and guiding students as they journey through their degree paths came into sharper focus, eventually taking shape in my mind as Quality Curriculum & Quality Care.

Though there are still tensions and aspects to discern over time, discovering what matters most across different contexts has helped me to be more confident and content with where I am in any given season in my family and within my career.

What has helped you over time as you navigate family and career? What tensions are you reflecting on?