Whether or not we perceive it, He is present in every moment. He creatively makes Himself manifest in different ways for different seasons.

We don't have to understand it.

We just have to trust that He is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28) and that He is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).

In the Moment

The joy and peace before the monstrance.

The stillness of rocking a newborn.

The refreshment of a walk outside.

The silence before the tabernacle.

So many moments perceiving His presence with concrete consolations. He is active in the present moment.

Before the Moment

I was taking a leap. There was a buzz of excitement. Step by step, I was learning to do the next thing without knowing for sure how it would all turn out but choosing to trust in Him.

I had submitted my sabbatical application and was awaiting the outcome.

"However it unfolds, I will be with you," I perceived in prayer. A sense of consolation washed over me.

Even though I had been intentionally trying to grow in surrender - of accepting however it unfolded, I had become attached to the direction I thought things were heading. I was exhausted. I had been grieving. I thought He was inviting me to a season of deep rest and new possibilities.

I just needed to hold on and make it through the year. A reprieve was coming.

Until it didn't.

Sabbatical was not granted. I grasped and clutched at different pathways to experience that rest I thought He had in store for me, but nothing came to fruition.

Instead, new complications that I never would have imagined were added in. I was hanging on by a thread.

"However it unfolds, I will be with you."

Sometimes He manifests His presence in advance, planting anchors of hope to help us navigate the challenges ahead. Along the way, He teaches us to love Him and not the circumstances. He invites us to trust.

He is there. He is patient. He is alongside us as we process through all the different layers.

After the Moment

I returned to my cabin at one of my favorite locations - my diocesan retreat center.

I walked through the door and my eyes were drawn to the Crucifix on the wall.

"[I] will fight for you; you have only to keep still" (Exodus 14:14).

Though separated by 11 1/2 weeks and 252 miles, I knew exactly what the scripture that came to me was referring to.

I felt weak with the realization and doubled over, sitting down on my bed.

I remembered the moment frozen in place, face to face with the unknown young adult pointing a gun at me in my living room, demanding car keys. I remembered the shock. I remembered knowing the Holy Spirit was present in that moment because there was so much peace and surrender, even though the aftermath led to exhaustion from hyper vigilance.

Sometimes He deepens our understanding of His presence in the moment after the fact, peeling back layers in need of healing and giving strategic reminders of His protection. He knows when we're ready.

Always

He's with us through it all, providing us exactly what we need, when and how we need it, even if we think we need something different, even if we are hurt and confused. He sustains us. Choose to lean in.

And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age (Jesus in Matthew 28:20).

Jesus, I trust in You.

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